Ok for this post lets leave love on the shelf for a while.
In America, a little over 50% of married couples end up in a divorce. I don't have any statistics for unmarried couples. But I would suspect that the rate of broken relationship is higher. This because, I believe that it's a little easier to break up when you're not married. You don't have the legal part to deal with. And what to say about unmarried couples without children? It's even easier.
So lets make the assumption that the overall blend break up rate is around 60%. So you have more chances to break up than living happy ever after when you start a relationship.
And yet what do people do? They move together. They put their assets together. They even go as far as getting rid of one of the two cars in order to save on the expenses. They put their money together, they buy a house together. And all that is good. As long as the premise holds: that you'll continue to live together.
Then, comes the break up. That is when you found that you're cooked. You don't have your own asset anymore. You have to sell the house because you cannot both live in it. You have to buy yourself a car, furnitures and pay for all the expenses for moving and such. Do anyone prepare for that? Of course not. Because we want our relationship to hold. We want, we believe that this one is the good one, and that we will live together for the remaining of our lives. Well think again...
If I would say to you that we are going to move all your assets by plane. But there is one thing, the plane has 60% chances of falling. Would you put all your stuff in the plane? Anyone with the slightest common sense would say no. But yet that is just what most people do when they are moving together. "Oh but us it's different. We love each other" Well good for you and I sincerely wish that it holds for the remaining of your existence. But what if it doesn't?
If one wants to live his or her life strategically, one must plan for the future and make sure that there is a safe nest somewhere that one is the only one that can tap into.
How large should be the safe nest? Well that depends on what kind of life standard you want after the relationship. If you live in a house and use the family car every day. Make sure that you have enough on the side for a down payment on a house somewhere else, enough also to buy a car and furnitures. I've calculated that to make a move with the lowest monetary impact would take between 30 000$ and 50 000$.
Too much? Well then readjust your standard of life for the after relationship. You can very well decide that you want to live in an apartment for a few years in order to assess where you want to go and also to buy your furnitures little by little, that that is another valid strategy. And it takes less money.
So one needs to sit down with a sheet of paper an pen and assess what is one's needs in the case of a breakup. And then, plan for it: open a bank account, start saving money, some even buy small peaces of furnitures that they store (I've been told).
And while it is preferable to work on the success of the relationship, we need not to play ostrich and put our head in the sand. Think about it coldly and plan for it. If it doesn't happen then very well you'll have a safe nest for when something goes bad. But if it does happen. Then you'll be ready.
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